(this blog is from my myspace Nov. 12, 2006)
Ron talked about how God is faithful and we are not today at church. He made references to the thorns in your life that just won't go away. I have had that running in my head all day... I hate it when there is just something that you want to go away or get better but you realize that it never will... and you will have to confront it on many occasions in your life. I often find myself asking God why He can't just take it away.. I didn't sign up for this. But something else that I have had running my head all day is that through it all, God is FAITHFUL to me. He just wants me to depend on him through all of this. I know I must depend on him and he always proves to be faithful in some way.
But I hurt for my mom. I want her to know the love of God what we know. I want her to be happy and free of all the struggles that must be going on in her mind. I don't get her at all. I have wondered if it was something to do with how she was raised, but her siblings are fine. I don't know how to help her except to pray. She has countlessly been exposed to faith over and over in her life... I mean my dad stuck by her forever and I'm sure he prayed for her every night of their marriage...even though I'm also sure he didn't feel like it. I want her to change.. but I can't make her change. Its all up to her and her hard heart needs to soften. But like my sister said... it's been hard for 54 years and the harder it becomes and the more she rejects a relationship with Christ... the harder it will be for it to break. (You were right Mel is it in Romans... 1:18-32) Yes I hurt for my mom, but sometimes I'm tired of hurting for her. At the same time, I know God never gets tired of being faithful to us. The same, unchanging God that was there for me as a child and through my life was there for my mom knocking at her heart plenty of times only to get denied... and that's one of the reason's that I hurt for my mom.
Thanks for your prayers this weekend... I was sick to my stomach at the height of the day...but we all got through it and through the subtle but powerful cynical comments that were often heard.
P.S. Jake has to be put to sleep probably sometime this week.... :(
P.P.S. The CBS announcer totally just said "the Baltimore Colts are undefeated 9-0 for the second season in a row.."
P.P.P.S. I used to do this whole
P.P.P.P.P.S. thing when I wrote to my church camp friends and I don't even know what it really means
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