Sunday, March 11, 2007

i digress... and must love the thorn

(the following is a post from Nov. 12, 2006 on myspace)

Wow..

Tonight at the Core I was thinking about everything that I just blogged about 30 minutes before I left for the Core. Worship and the "new" way that Jeff (our young adult leader) had all of us pray brought me to tears...

We sang "It is Well with my Soul", then "Jesus Paid it All".. I really think the order of worship songs tonight really was perfect for me (if that makes sense). One of the verses of the second song is as follows:

Lord, now indeed I find
Thy power and Thine alone,
Can change the leper's spots
And melt the heart of stone.

Our God is so great that he can melt the heart of stone!!! Did I not just blog about how my mom's heart is so hard and it just seems impossible to soften it?

Then, Jeff read Psalm 27 three times and we were to pick out the word that pops out most to you and discuss with God what we think He is trying to tell us. The word FEAR stuck out for me...and this is why.....

Yes, there are many people who think it is impossible for my mom's heart to change... but like that ancient hymn says; his power can melt the heart of stone. I will be the person, if no one else will, to make an effort without being fearful of the effects and how she will respond to me. I know God will protect my heart and though I may get hurt from words or actions on her part, and if she "disowns" me all together then so be it. I will depend on Him because he is constantly faithful and has proven that to me over and over.

I have a thorn in my side.. I must honor the thorn as it says in the Bible, but if I do not want it to be a thorn anymore... I will do something about it.

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