Wow!!!! It's time to leave? What??
The past few weeks have been amazing. The preparation that I've experienced is something only God could have orchestrated. Spiritual preparation has been unbelievable... something I've never expected. I've been able to read the Bible, discuss things, and pray often with a team member and it has helped me out tremendously! Although I still feel times of being adequate, I know God will give me the words to speak and be all over this trip while we are there.
The passport ended up coming on Friday. I had two congressmen working on it for me. Friday morning at 10:00 Mark Souders office called me with a tracking number for Fed-Ex, and as I was copying it down, I heard a truck backing up the driveway. I told the lady that I think I just tracked the passport - its currently backing up my driveway! She was amazed, and I was amazed at how that worked out. Thanks Pat for meeting with Souder in the morning to get this pushed! They were on top of things and let me know as soon as they found out the status of it. Mike Pence was the congressman who put the congressional rush on it, so he deserves a thank you note sometime too.
The website of the place we are being hosted by is:
www.youngsters4christ.com
This is information about the slum I will be at:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kibera
My prayer requests for the trip:
*My focus has been SO clouded lately because of my Grandma having open heart surgery the day I fly out. Please pray for peace about that, and that my focus stays on the trip and what God wants me to do the whole time that I'm there.
*Conversations be blessed and filled with God's love
*Endurance, safety, good health, for the whole time - and that I can experience this to the fullest and come back to tell others about it
*Hearts will be changed, people will be moved. That my heart is softened and challenged.
THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS SUPPORTED ME THROUGH ENCOURAGEMENT, PRAYER, AND FINANCES.
I'LL SEE YOU IN A MONTH!!!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
its all sinking in...
With each day that goes by, it becomes more apparent to me that I'm really going to Africa! Please please please pray for me and my team. For me, I'm starting to get anxiety over the whole thing coming together okay.
We really haven't met with our team yet about it, and we leave in 9 weeks! I have no idea really what I'm walking into besides the basic facts that I researched about Kibera. However, I know that I'm supposed to be there. I feel like my desire to GO has faded and I know that it is Satan trying to pull me away from answering that call that I heard at Passion.
Another prayer request is my PASSPORT. They suggested that I paid the extra $90 to get it expediated because it takes 10 weeks.... so they say. so PRAY that it gets here in time, because I didn't pay the extra money.
What else? Our plane ticket prices went up, and we haven't booked our flights yet. I'm not sure if I should book now before they go up AGAIN, but they are pretty pricey right now. I have to front the cost of the ticket and then pay myself back with the support that I raise.
That's another thing that I'm thinking about a lot... is the support raising. It's come to a stand still, and the number of letters I sent out is no where near the number that was "recommended" I send out. pish posh... :)
I have to stop this! I know GOD will provide. He always has for me in the past when finances get tough - and all who know me know that a lot of situations has come up that I always find myself in a pinch. But I know that if He wants me there, which I believe he does, He will find a way for me to be there.
Matthew 6:25.... do not WORRY!!! I wish I could just learn to be better at transferring that piece of scripture from my head to my heart.
We really haven't met with our team yet about it, and we leave in 9 weeks! I have no idea really what I'm walking into besides the basic facts that I researched about Kibera. However, I know that I'm supposed to be there. I feel like my desire to GO has faded and I know that it is Satan trying to pull me away from answering that call that I heard at Passion.
Another prayer request is my PASSPORT. They suggested that I paid the extra $90 to get it expediated because it takes 10 weeks.... so they say. so PRAY that it gets here in time, because I didn't pay the extra money.
What else? Our plane ticket prices went up, and we haven't booked our flights yet. I'm not sure if I should book now before they go up AGAIN, but they are pretty pricey right now. I have to front the cost of the ticket and then pay myself back with the support that I raise.
That's another thing that I'm thinking about a lot... is the support raising. It's come to a stand still, and the number of letters I sent out is no where near the number that was "recommended" I send out. pish posh... :)
I have to stop this! I know GOD will provide. He always has for me in the past when finances get tough - and all who know me know that a lot of situations has come up that I always find myself in a pinch. But I know that if He wants me there, which I believe he does, He will find a way for me to be there.
Matthew 6:25.... do not WORRY!!! I wish I could just learn to be better at transferring that piece of scripture from my head to my heart.
Monday, March 19, 2007
SHINE: An opportunity in Africa!
March 14, 2007
Dear Friends and Family,
I never would have dreamed that I would be writing such a letter as this, but God works in mysterious ways. For the past few years I have been struggling with the direction my life was going, but I trusted that God had something amazing planned for me. At the Passion ‘07 conference in January, God awakened what He placed in my heart long ago. Although it hit me like a rock and left me feeling inadequate, I left Passion with a sense of urgency to act upon what God was telling me those four incredible days, and trust Him to take care of the rest. Since then I've learned that if God wants me to do something, He will keep presenting Himself until I say YES.
Christ’s last words to his disciples in Mark 16:15 were “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” At Passion, hundreds, if not thousands, stood to be prayed over, saying "God is telling me to GO. I don't know when, I don't know where, I don't know how, but here I am, Lord! I want to serve You! Send me!" I was one of those who stood, and that's when I truly felt like my heart was awakened.
Since Passion, the doors have quickly opened and I’m following through with what my heart has been swelling over since. I have an amazing opportunity to go spread love in a dark place. After prayerful consideration, I’ve made the commitment to travel with a team to Kenya. We will spend 4 weeks in a large slum district called Kibera, on the south side of Niarobi. Those that live in this slum are daily confronted with the extreme challenges of poverty. Many live on less than $1 a day and lack the daily nourishment they need, using garbage as food. Families live in shanties that are often not big enough for one person, and there is death and disease everywhere.
Our team will be working with a local youth ministry called Youngsters for Christ. We will be building lasting relationships and having Christ-centered fellowship with youth, helping to ignite or build their faith by: performing skits, singing songs, praying, sharing testimonies, and simply loving them. To learn more about the Youngsters for Christ Team, you can visit their website at www.youngsters4christ.com.
Missions cannot be possible without support of brothers and sisters in Christ. There are two ways that you can partner with me in this exciting opportunity to serve God. The most important method of support is through prayer. While I know Christ knows our needs, we still need to offer up our prayers. I have enclosed prayer cards which I hope will assist you in remembering the team in your prayers. If you would like to receive updates on our trip, please send me your e-mail.
Another way you can support me is through the resources Christ has blessed you with. I need to raise around $3,400 by May, and this is where I’m leaving it in God’s hands. I ask that you do not give unless you pray about it first. Then, if you feel led to partner with our team in this way, send your financial support to my home address which is listed below. Checks can be made out to Pathway Community Church. Please write “Kenya Trip” on the memo line. Cash is also acceptable. All support is processed through my church, so if you decide to support me financially you will receive a tax deductible receipt.
Thank you for your partnership in spreading God’s love to the youth in Africa. If you are reading this letter, you have left an impact on my life whether you know it or not, and your support means so much to me. I’m amazed at how God is including this as a part of His plans for me, and feel blessed with the prayer support of family and friends.
Janelle Lehman
**Because of obvious safety reasons, I am excluding my contact info on my blog. For those of you who read this and would like to contact me about this trip, please email me and include "Kenya Trip" in the subject line at: janellelehman@hotmail.com
Dear Friends and Family,
I never would have dreamed that I would be writing such a letter as this, but God works in mysterious ways. For the past few years I have been struggling with the direction my life was going, but I trusted that God had something amazing planned for me. At the Passion ‘07 conference in January, God awakened what He placed in my heart long ago. Although it hit me like a rock and left me feeling inadequate, I left Passion with a sense of urgency to act upon what God was telling me those four incredible days, and trust Him to take care of the rest. Since then I've learned that if God wants me to do something, He will keep presenting Himself until I say YES.
Christ’s last words to his disciples in Mark 16:15 were “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” At Passion, hundreds, if not thousands, stood to be prayed over, saying "God is telling me to GO. I don't know when, I don't know where, I don't know how, but here I am, Lord! I want to serve You! Send me!" I was one of those who stood, and that's when I truly felt like my heart was awakened.
Since Passion, the doors have quickly opened and I’m following through with what my heart has been swelling over since. I have an amazing opportunity to go spread love in a dark place. After prayerful consideration, I’ve made the commitment to travel with a team to Kenya. We will spend 4 weeks in a large slum district called Kibera, on the south side of Niarobi. Those that live in this slum are daily confronted with the extreme challenges of poverty. Many live on less than $1 a day and lack the daily nourishment they need, using garbage as food. Families live in shanties that are often not big enough for one person, and there is death and disease everywhere.Our team will be working with a local youth ministry called Youngsters for Christ. We will be building lasting relationships and having Christ-centered fellowship with youth, helping to ignite or build their faith by: performing skits, singing songs, praying, sharing testimonies, and simply loving them. To learn more about the Youngsters for Christ Team, you can visit their website at www.youngsters4christ.com.
Missions cannot be possible without support of brothers and sisters in Christ. There are two ways that you can partner with me in this exciting opportunity to serve God. The most important method of support is through prayer. While I know Christ knows our needs, we still need to offer up our prayers. I have enclosed prayer cards which I hope will assist you in remembering the team in your prayers. If you would like to receive updates on our trip, please send me your e-mail.
Another way you can support me is through the resources Christ has blessed you with. I need to raise around $3,400 by May, and this is where I’m leaving it in God’s hands. I ask that you do not give unless you pray about it first. Then, if you feel led to partner with our team in this way, send your financial support to my home address which is listed below. Checks can be made out to Pathway Community Church. Please write “Kenya Trip” on the memo line. Cash is also acceptable. All support is processed through my church, so if you decide to support me financially you will receive a tax deductible receipt.
Thank you for your partnership in spreading God’s love to the youth in Africa. If you are reading this letter, you have left an impact on my life whether you know it or not, and your support means so much to me. I’m amazed at how God is including this as a part of His plans for me, and feel blessed with the prayer support of family and friends.
Janelle Lehman
**Because of obvious safety reasons, I am excluding my contact info on my blog. For those of you who read this and would like to contact me about this trip, please email me and include "Kenya Trip" in the subject line at: janellelehman@hotmail.com
Sunday, March 18, 2007
transition
Church was amazing yet really emotional today.
I attended both services...even with having 5 hours of sleep the night before. (These NCAA tourney games are not helping the sleeping schedule any either.)
Not sure if I wanted to just hear the story of Al and Eric again(check out their story on the Pathway Community Church podcast), check out the differences of first and second service (which, really... the climate of the two are strangely different... those second service people just don't get into it much), or just let it all sink in.
At the end of the service, our worship arts director announced his resignation.
There were tears everywhere.
Craig has such a talent and used that talent to bless others. He has led me and many others to find a way to connect with and worship God in a way like never before. God really used him at Pathway and there are big shoes to fill. He just has a way to let God use him to reach others.
I hope and pray that attenders of the church will not feel a need to start rumors or find out the reasons that Craig is leaving, that they will turn to God for comfort and not make it be the talk of the 'church' community. I also pray that God will start to prepare the heart of our next worship arts director, and that the leadership at Pathway will be able to discern where to go from here.
At my home church where I grew up, our pastor of 13 years is resigning.
Change is a hard thing and I've seen it tear so many church families apart. My church in Berne just went through huge transition with adding another contemporary service to satisfy the need there because of the generation gap. It's crazy really... many members of the church are 70+, and with it being a Mennonite church and a small town... I don't know all those together just make for them not liking change and adding drums to our worship service. Hymns are the only way to go. That's fine though really. That's the way they were raised, that's the way they can connect with God, but for the younger generation... there has been a huge shift in worship.
an amazing shift. :)
...just what's on my mind today
I attended both services...even with having 5 hours of sleep the night before. (These NCAA tourney games are not helping the sleeping schedule any either.)
Not sure if I wanted to just hear the story of Al and Eric again(check out their story on the Pathway Community Church podcast), check out the differences of first and second service (which, really... the climate of the two are strangely different... those second service people just don't get into it much), or just let it all sink in.
At the end of the service, our worship arts director announced his resignation.
There were tears everywhere.
Craig has such a talent and used that talent to bless others. He has led me and many others to find a way to connect with and worship God in a way like never before. God really used him at Pathway and there are big shoes to fill. He just has a way to let God use him to reach others.
I hope and pray that attenders of the church will not feel a need to start rumors or find out the reasons that Craig is leaving, that they will turn to God for comfort and not make it be the talk of the 'church' community. I also pray that God will start to prepare the heart of our next worship arts director, and that the leadership at Pathway will be able to discern where to go from here.
At my home church where I grew up, our pastor of 13 years is resigning.
Change is a hard thing and I've seen it tear so many church families apart. My church in Berne just went through huge transition with adding another contemporary service to satisfy the need there because of the generation gap. It's crazy really... many members of the church are 70+, and with it being a Mennonite church and a small town... I don't know all those together just make for them not liking change and adding drums to our worship service. Hymns are the only way to go. That's fine though really. That's the way they were raised, that's the way they can connect with God, but for the younger generation... there has been a huge shift in worship.
an amazing shift. :)
...just what's on my mind today
Sunday, March 11, 2007
tragedy
Where is God when it hurts?
...when you hurt over an ended relationship
...when you hurt over a lack of a relationship
...when you hurt over crisis in your life (i.e. finances, family, friends)
...when you hurt because of death, tragedy…
............crisis, tragedy...........
We are all on a journey in life. Some parts are high, others are low. But in the end, where our heart is… is what matters most. We try to avoid the low parts, the parts when we hurt, but we know they only make us stronger and it’s how you react to those low parts that shape our lives.
In the moment you feel so abandoned by God, He is working in your heart.
God will use who and what He wants to use to accomplish what he wants to do in your lives. (Job 12:13-14; Ecclesiastes 3:1)
"My prayers are with you…”
When tragedy strikes, so many people are quick to say that. Am I out of line to say that it’s beginning to sound like a cliché? Do people really truly pray for those who are faced with adversity, or it is all for show or simply something to say when something bad happens. We are so quick to cling to God when our worlds are crashing down on us. I feel like so many of us have grown up on our parent’s faith, or our small town’s faith, yet we have yet to build our own faith. If you’re going to say you will pray for someone… do it, because they need our prayers. And do it with a sincere heart.
Yeah, we may have all prayed that prayer as a child, but as adults we have a responsibility for our own lives. Our parents will not be there to account for our lives when it comes to the day we come face to face with God.
Just because God forgives us and gives second changes, it is not a license to keep living our lives the way we want to and go back to what we’ve done before. Doing so is mocking the cross, and sinning out of pleasure and joy over and over again because we know He will forgive us is like nailing Him to the cross over and over again. (Piper)
Yet, through tragedy, so much as happened this week that reminds me of God’s protection.
Last week my friend’s parents were involved in a huge scare on an airplane where their engine failed coming home from the Dominican Republic. This was actually a second plane they had boarded because their first plane wouldn’t ascend. After an emergency landing back in the D.R., they were safe. God protected them.
My roommate and I were in a minor wreck on Saturday night. It could have been a lot worse than it was. God protected us.
...The Bluffton bus wreck. It was really a tragedy, and I hate all of it and my heart aches for everyone involved. I feel connected, as I realize 5-6 years ago I would have known everyone on that team, plus with the Berne students and families involved. South Adams has had someone on that team almost every year for a long time now. It could have very easily been the track team when my brother Jeff was on it 5 years ago. It’s almost to the point where I can place myself there that morning because my thoughts and prayers have not left those involved… yet I know that my thoughts about it are nowhere near the horror it must have been.
What so many people are focusing on is the bad in this accident, and it’s easy to do. I have been doing it too. But God’s protection was placed all over that accident. For those that survived, the numbers could have been switched around and 28 died, not 7. God knew it was going to happen before it did. He knew which players would survive. Those that survived were in the seats they were on the bus at that moment for a reason.
As everyone says, God isn’t finished with the survivors yet. There’s a plan for their lives. God can create storms to bring His children back to Him.
It is up to use to make the decision to run father from Him or draw near to Him, and running from God always comes at a price to others. He is the ultimate comfort. God’s hand was all over the bus that morning, and He WAS protecting them.
But what about those whose lives were taken in the accident?
Where was God’s protection then?
God has a plan that we cannot even begin to trace. That is one of the mysteries of God that I personally do not want to know. If we seriously knew God’s will for our lives, how exciting would that be? We would know exactly when we die, and would be counting our days.
If 7 people dying in this wreck brings 7 people home to Christ… I don’t know… it just seems to work. Everything ends up “working” when God in involved, and we as humans cannot attempt to understand it. He can bring good out of the bad.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
While the plan may not be as beautiful for use here on earth, it is beautiful for God. He works for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)
All He asks of us is to trust Him.
So where IS God when it hurts?
He is WITH YOU! Where He loves to be. Right by your side. When you can’t feel Him, turn to Him, ask Him to reveal himself to you, because he is there. Maybe He already has revealed Himself, but other things has caused you to inadvertently avoid His knocking…but He is there and will always listen, no matter how many times we have ignored Him. What Amazing Grace!
--------------------------
Where is God when it hurts? He is in us-not in the things that hurt-helping to transform bad into good. We can safely say that God can bring good out of evil; we cannot say that God brings about the evil in hopes of producing good.” –Phillip Yancey
--------------------------
I lay myself at Your feet
Asking You won't You meet
Won't You meet me
I cannot do it on my own
I cannot do it all alone
Here I am, oh, tonight
With my arms open wide
Won't You come inside
Won't You come inside,
GodCome and fill this heart of mine
I'm in need of You
Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love
I need YouI need You
~”Here I Am” Shawn McDonald
*A couple of things I turned to for this long drawn out blog:
Bk: “Where is God when it Hurts?” Philip Yancey.
Bk: “Don’t Waste Your Life” John Piper
Ron Williams message, March 4, 2007 (check it out on the Pathway Podcast)
...when you hurt over an ended relationship
...when you hurt over a lack of a relationship
...when you hurt over crisis in your life (i.e. finances, family, friends)
...when you hurt because of death, tragedy…
............crisis, tragedy...........
We are all on a journey in life. Some parts are high, others are low. But in the end, where our heart is… is what matters most. We try to avoid the low parts, the parts when we hurt, but we know they only make us stronger and it’s how you react to those low parts that shape our lives.
In the moment you feel so abandoned by God, He is working in your heart.
God will use who and what He wants to use to accomplish what he wants to do in your lives. (Job 12:13-14; Ecclesiastes 3:1)
"My prayers are with you…”
When tragedy strikes, so many people are quick to say that. Am I out of line to say that it’s beginning to sound like a cliché? Do people really truly pray for those who are faced with adversity, or it is all for show or simply something to say when something bad happens. We are so quick to cling to God when our worlds are crashing down on us. I feel like so many of us have grown up on our parent’s faith, or our small town’s faith, yet we have yet to build our own faith. If you’re going to say you will pray for someone… do it, because they need our prayers. And do it with a sincere heart.
Yeah, we may have all prayed that prayer as a child, but as adults we have a responsibility for our own lives. Our parents will not be there to account for our lives when it comes to the day we come face to face with God.
Just because God forgives us and gives second changes, it is not a license to keep living our lives the way we want to and go back to what we’ve done before. Doing so is mocking the cross, and sinning out of pleasure and joy over and over again because we know He will forgive us is like nailing Him to the cross over and over again. (Piper)
Yet, through tragedy, so much as happened this week that reminds me of God’s protection.
Last week my friend’s parents were involved in a huge scare on an airplane where their engine failed coming home from the Dominican Republic. This was actually a second plane they had boarded because their first plane wouldn’t ascend. After an emergency landing back in the D.R., they were safe. God protected them.
My roommate and I were in a minor wreck on Saturday night. It could have been a lot worse than it was. God protected us.
...The Bluffton bus wreck. It was really a tragedy, and I hate all of it and my heart aches for everyone involved. I feel connected, as I realize 5-6 years ago I would have known everyone on that team, plus with the Berne students and families involved. South Adams has had someone on that team almost every year for a long time now. It could have very easily been the track team when my brother Jeff was on it 5 years ago. It’s almost to the point where I can place myself there that morning because my thoughts and prayers have not left those involved… yet I know that my thoughts about it are nowhere near the horror it must have been.
What so many people are focusing on is the bad in this accident, and it’s easy to do. I have been doing it too. But God’s protection was placed all over that accident. For those that survived, the numbers could have been switched around and 28 died, not 7. God knew it was going to happen before it did. He knew which players would survive. Those that survived were in the seats they were on the bus at that moment for a reason.
As everyone says, God isn’t finished with the survivors yet. There’s a plan for their lives. God can create storms to bring His children back to Him.
It is up to use to make the decision to run father from Him or draw near to Him, and running from God always comes at a price to others. He is the ultimate comfort. God’s hand was all over the bus that morning, and He WAS protecting them.
But what about those whose lives were taken in the accident?
Where was God’s protection then?
God has a plan that we cannot even begin to trace. That is one of the mysteries of God that I personally do not want to know. If we seriously knew God’s will for our lives, how exciting would that be? We would know exactly when we die, and would be counting our days.
If 7 people dying in this wreck brings 7 people home to Christ… I don’t know… it just seems to work. Everything ends up “working” when God in involved, and we as humans cannot attempt to understand it. He can bring good out of the bad.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
While the plan may not be as beautiful for use here on earth, it is beautiful for God. He works for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)
All He asks of us is to trust Him.
So where IS God when it hurts?
He is WITH YOU! Where He loves to be. Right by your side. When you can’t feel Him, turn to Him, ask Him to reveal himself to you, because he is there. Maybe He already has revealed Himself, but other things has caused you to inadvertently avoid His knocking…but He is there and will always listen, no matter how many times we have ignored Him. What Amazing Grace!
--------------------------
Where is God when it hurts? He is in us-not in the things that hurt-helping to transform bad into good. We can safely say that God can bring good out of evil; we cannot say that God brings about the evil in hopes of producing good.” –Phillip Yancey
--------------------------
I lay myself at Your feet
Asking You won't You meet
Won't You meet me
I cannot do it on my own
I cannot do it all alone
Here I am, oh, tonight
With my arms open wide
Won't You come inside
Won't You come inside,
GodCome and fill this heart of mine
I'm in need of You
Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love
I need YouI need You
~”Here I Am” Shawn McDonald
*A couple of things I turned to for this long drawn out blog:
Bk: “Where is God when it Hurts?” Philip Yancey.
Bk: “Don’t Waste Your Life” John Piper
Ron Williams message, March 4, 2007 (check it out on the Pathway Podcast)
i digress... and must love the thorn
(the following is a post from Nov. 12, 2006 on myspace)
Wow..
Tonight at the Core I was thinking about everything that I just blogged about 30 minutes before I left for the Core. Worship and the "new" way that Jeff (our young adult leader) had all of us pray brought me to tears...
We sang "It is Well with my Soul", then "Jesus Paid it All".. I really think the order of worship songs tonight really was perfect for me (if that makes sense). One of the verses of the second song is as follows:
Lord, now indeed I find
Thy power and Thine alone,
Can change the leper's spots
And melt the heart of stone.
Our God is so great that he can melt the heart of stone!!! Did I not just blog about how my mom's heart is so hard and it just seems impossible to soften it?
Then, Jeff read Psalm 27 three times and we were to pick out the word that pops out most to you and discuss with God what we think He is trying to tell us. The word FEAR stuck out for me...and this is why.....
Yes, there are many people who think it is impossible for my mom's heart to change... but like that ancient hymn says; his power can melt the heart of stone. I will be the person, if no one else will, to make an effort without being fearful of the effects and how she will respond to me. I know God will protect my heart and though I may get hurt from words or actions on her part, and if she "disowns" me all together then so be it. I will depend on Him because he is constantly faithful and has proven that to me over and over.
I have a thorn in my side.. I must honor the thorn as it says in the Bible, but if I do not want it to be a thorn anymore... I will do something about it.
Wow..
Tonight at the Core I was thinking about everything that I just blogged about 30 minutes before I left for the Core. Worship and the "new" way that Jeff (our young adult leader) had all of us pray brought me to tears...
We sang "It is Well with my Soul", then "Jesus Paid it All".. I really think the order of worship songs tonight really was perfect for me (if that makes sense). One of the verses of the second song is as follows:
Lord, now indeed I find
Thy power and Thine alone,
Can change the leper's spots
And melt the heart of stone.
Our God is so great that he can melt the heart of stone!!! Did I not just blog about how my mom's heart is so hard and it just seems impossible to soften it?
Then, Jeff read Psalm 27 three times and we were to pick out the word that pops out most to you and discuss with God what we think He is trying to tell us. The word FEAR stuck out for me...and this is why.....
Yes, there are many people who think it is impossible for my mom's heart to change... but like that ancient hymn says; his power can melt the heart of stone. I will be the person, if no one else will, to make an effort without being fearful of the effects and how she will respond to me. I know God will protect my heart and though I may get hurt from words or actions on her part, and if she "disowns" me all together then so be it. I will depend on Him because he is constantly faithful and has proven that to me over and over.
I have a thorn in my side.. I must honor the thorn as it says in the Bible, but if I do not want it to be a thorn anymore... I will do something about it.
a thorn in my side
(this blog is from my myspace Nov. 12, 2006)
Ron talked about how God is faithful and we are not today at church. He made references to the thorns in your life that just won't go away. I have had that running in my head all day... I hate it when there is just something that you want to go away or get better but you realize that it never will... and you will have to confront it on many occasions in your life. I often find myself asking God why He can't just take it away.. I didn't sign up for this. But something else that I have had running my head all day is that through it all, God is FAITHFUL to me. He just wants me to depend on him through all of this. I know I must depend on him and he always proves to be faithful in some way.
But I hurt for my mom. I want her to know the love of God what we know. I want her to be happy and free of all the struggles that must be going on in her mind. I don't get her at all. I have wondered if it was something to do with how she was raised, but her siblings are fine. I don't know how to help her except to pray. She has countlessly been exposed to faith over and over in her life... I mean my dad stuck by her forever and I'm sure he prayed for her every night of their marriage...even though I'm also sure he didn't feel like it. I want her to change.. but I can't make her change. Its all up to her and her hard heart needs to soften. But like my sister said... it's been hard for 54 years and the harder it becomes and the more she rejects a relationship with Christ... the harder it will be for it to break. (You were right Mel is it in Romans... 1:18-32) Yes I hurt for my mom, but sometimes I'm tired of hurting for her. At the same time, I know God never gets tired of being faithful to us. The same, unchanging God that was there for me as a child and through my life was there for my mom knocking at her heart plenty of times only to get denied... and that's one of the reason's that I hurt for my mom.
Thanks for your prayers this weekend... I was sick to my stomach at the height of the day...but we all got through it and through the subtle but powerful cynical comments that were often heard.
P.S. Jake has to be put to sleep probably sometime this week.... :(
P.P.S. The CBS announcer totally just said "the Baltimore Colts are undefeated 9-0 for the second season in a row.."
P.P.P.S. I used to do this whole
P.P.P.P.P.S. thing when I wrote to my church camp friends and I don't even know what it really means
Ron talked about how God is faithful and we are not today at church. He made references to the thorns in your life that just won't go away. I have had that running in my head all day... I hate it when there is just something that you want to go away or get better but you realize that it never will... and you will have to confront it on many occasions in your life. I often find myself asking God why He can't just take it away.. I didn't sign up for this. But something else that I have had running my head all day is that through it all, God is FAITHFUL to me. He just wants me to depend on him through all of this. I know I must depend on him and he always proves to be faithful in some way.
But I hurt for my mom. I want her to know the love of God what we know. I want her to be happy and free of all the struggles that must be going on in her mind. I don't get her at all. I have wondered if it was something to do with how she was raised, but her siblings are fine. I don't know how to help her except to pray. She has countlessly been exposed to faith over and over in her life... I mean my dad stuck by her forever and I'm sure he prayed for her every night of their marriage...even though I'm also sure he didn't feel like it. I want her to change.. but I can't make her change. Its all up to her and her hard heart needs to soften. But like my sister said... it's been hard for 54 years and the harder it becomes and the more she rejects a relationship with Christ... the harder it will be for it to break. (You were right Mel is it in Romans... 1:18-32) Yes I hurt for my mom, but sometimes I'm tired of hurting for her. At the same time, I know God never gets tired of being faithful to us. The same, unchanging God that was there for me as a child and through my life was there for my mom knocking at her heart plenty of times only to get denied... and that's one of the reason's that I hurt for my mom.
Thanks for your prayers this weekend... I was sick to my stomach at the height of the day...but we all got through it and through the subtle but powerful cynical comments that were often heard.
P.S. Jake has to be put to sleep probably sometime this week.... :(
P.P.S. The CBS announcer totally just said "the Baltimore Colts are undefeated 9-0 for the second season in a row.."
P.P.P.S. I used to do this whole
P.P.P.P.P.S. thing when I wrote to my church camp friends and I don't even know what it really means
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